Language Yoga Translator App

Sean slams the door of his sleek white sports car, he is running late and has no time for gentleness. He awkwardly jogs through the parking complex in his fancy blue suit, his red tie flapping against his chest. He squeezes into the elevator as it’s closing.

Inside the metal box, his frame is forced to be still. Aside from the rhythmic tapping of his foot, which is making a soft but audible background beat, there is total silence.

Sean’s foot is not being moved by his conscious mind, he is more or less unaware that he is even doing it, it’s a subconscious tendency.

It is on the 33rd  floor that the man in front of Sean turns around with a look of annoyance and requests, “Could you please stop that? It’s driving me nuts.”

Sean responds, confused, “Stop what?”

“Tapping your foot, it’s really annoying,” asserts the man.

“Oh, right, sorry about that. I’ll stop,” Sean assures.

The next eighteen floors are agony. Sean spends the entire trip forcing his foot to remain grounded, which is no easy task; the habit is deeply engrained at this point.

Sean finally reaches his floor and leaps out of the elevator, running down the hall towards the boardroom. He bursts into the business meeting that began twenty minutes ago. Taking his seat, he joins his colleagues at the large oval table.

Interrupting the presentation, Sean explains why he is late. “I know I’m late, but it’s not my fault. My wife forgot to set the alarm last night. I would have been here earlier but I got stuck behind this maniac who cut me off on the highway. He had some serious road rage, he almost killed me with his childish antics.”

The snickers that were hushed during Sean’s monologue erupt into full-on laughter once he finishes talking. Sean is baffled. “What are you guys laughing at?” he asks. One of his colleagues points to the screen behind him.
Sean turns around to find a screen illuminating his words, but translated using Language Yoga. He quickly scans the text…

“I know I’m late, it’s my fault. I forgot to set the alarm last night. I would have been here earlier but I got stuck behind my maniac self who cut me off on the highway. I have some serious road rage, I almost killed myself with my childish antics.”

“What the hell? Is this some kind of joke?” asks Sean.

The CEO clears his throat and responds, “Sean, this isn’t a joke. If you were here on time you would have heard Sarah and Aaron outline their proposal for a smart phone application that would be used to translate conversations, emails, texts, posts, and any material online using Language Yoga. This is a tool for radical ownership. It changes externalizing nouns and pronouns like we, you, he, she, it, and so on, as well as names of other people, into personal pronouns that internalize, like me, myself, and I. This is done in order to bring consciousness to subconscious tendencies and patterns. You walked in during the middle of their example of how their prototype can be used to translate a conversation. I think your monologue is probably way better than any conversation that they could have conceived! Thanks for sharing, Sean.”

He continues, “Sarah and Aaron believe that by translating our externalizations and owning our words, we can see our habitual patterning and change our subconscious tendencies. By changing our words, we change our thoughts, which will help restore health to our psychological and physical realities. I’m curious Sean, what do you feel when you read your words translated in this way?”

“I feel that this is ridiculous,” Sean retorts angrily, slamming his hands on the table. “Clearly it doesn’t work.”

More giggles gurgle up from the group. Sean turns around to read the screen again, “I feel that I am ridiculous. Clearly I don’t work.” Sean’s face becomes ripe with anger.

“Sean, it sounds like you have a need for more clarity around this tool and how it works. Would you be willing to work with Sarah and Aaron in developing this app for the mainstream?” asks the CEO.

“I guess, but I still feel like it’s a stupid idea. Who would buy an application that makes them look like a fool?” replies Sean.

“I hear what you’re saying Sean, and I’m curious to hear how you feel at the end of the project,” the CEO concludes.
Sean spends the next two months brainstorming, developing, and testing the Language Yoga Translator app with Sarah and Aaron.

When the three of them first begin working together, Sean asks them, “So what is the big idea? Do you guys really want to get rid of all the other pronouns and have everyone speaking in this weird I Language? I’m sorry, but I just don’t see it happening.”

Aaron responds, “The idea is not to get rid of the other pronouns, rather to bring consciousness to them and how they can be used mindfully. The different pronouns are like colors on a palette that I use to paint the picture of my world. When I use my words mindfully, I can use any pronoun to paint with. Language Yoga simply helps me bring balance back into my language by showing me my hidden subconscious tendencies and allowing me to understand how my words and thoughts shape my reality.”

“So how exactly does it work then?” Sean probes.

“Language Yoga works with radical ownership,” Sarah explains. “An example is with email. If I translate my words using Language Yoga before hitting send, I can see what I am really trying to say and save myself the trouble created when I send out my externalizations. If my words hold up after the translation and I am able to own what I am trying to say, then I translate the email back into the original pronoun set and send it out. Kind of like an ego check to follow the spell check.

Does that make sense?”

“I guess so,” Sean responds. “I will do my best to make the technology work, but I have to say, as far as people actually wanting to use it, I’m still not so sure. I don’t understand why anyone would volunteer to have all of their subconscious tendencies reflected back to them.”

These two months are a period of radical transformation for Sean. They fly by and before he knows it the morning of his presentation has arrived. Sean is sitting in his seat with his eyes closed, mentally preparing for his presentation.
The CEO walks into the room. The sight of Sean not only at the board meeting early, but in what appears to be a meditative state, brings a smile to his face. The CEO is anxious to hear about Sean’s experience. He has noticed some fairly dramatic changes in how Sean shows up for work and he is curious to learn why.

“So Sean, are you ready to present the Language Yoga Translator application to the group?” asks the CEO.

“Yes, I am ready,” Sean replies.

“Wonderful, why don’t we start by hearing about your personal experience with the tool.”

“Well sir, I was still skeptical when I started, but I dove into the project with my heart anyway. When the first prototype was ready, I installed it on my phone. It was then that my world fully flipped upside down. My reality became one big reflection of me, I was no longer able to hide behind my words and thoughts.

“At first it felt awful. I didn’t like to hear my words echoed back in this new way, but little by little my experience began to change.

“My rants lost their steam when translated. My mental excuses sounded ridiculous. My road rage dissipated because I started to translate my angry thoughts about other drivers using Language Yoga, which helped me see that it was really me who I was frustrated with.

“It rapidly became apparent that much of my disgust for the world was really disgust I felt for myself. This realization was radical for me. It shifted my perspective in a big way.

“The last two months have changed my life. I turned from a skeptic into a believer. I now think that the Language Yoga Translator application can change the world and I am proud to have helped develop it.”

The CEO nods his head in approval, saying, “Sean, that is all I needed to hear, let’s go ahead and launch this tool with every ounce of marketing and publicity that we can dig up. I too see the potential in this application’s societal integration and I would be proud to be the company behind the cultural phenomenon that will be born out of its use.”

The  Language Yoga Translator application was slow to take off, but six months later, the nation was absorbed in Language Yoga mania. Everyone was translating their own and each other’s words. Personal psychoanalysis became a trend that took deep root in the mainstream culture.

The Language Yoga Translator application helped spur a movement that changed the face of both language and human interaction. While the Language Yoga Translator may have started it, the beautiful truth is that to do translations, no technology is needed. It can be accomplished with a pencil and paper, it can be used in any language, by anyone with the desire to understand themselves better.

From I’m Calling Myself Out


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