Here’s a Christmas gift that will help you turn uncomfortable Christmas interactions into pure fun. Enjoy!
So, is Uncle Eddie giving you a hard time at the dinner table? Feel emotionally triggered and want to react but don’t want to cause a scene? Here’s what to do.
Uncle Eddie: “Hey, nephew. Still living at home, huh? Maybe if you were stronger you would be able to make it out on your own. It takes courage to get by in this world, and if you sit around all day on your computer you will never get anything done.”
You: Picture Uncle Eddy saying what he said to you, only imagine him talking about himself.
Uncle Eddie (in your head): “Hey, nephew. I’m still living at home, huh? Maybe if I were stronger I would be able to make it out on my own. I need courage to get by in my world, and if I sit around all day on my computer I will never get anything done.”
You: Take a deep breath and have a good laugh! Uncle Eddie is projecting his own fears and worries and you are the target. Remember, it’s not really about you, it’s about his own problems and he’s taking it out on you. No need to take it personally because he’s talking about himself!
You: Say something to address his worry, like, “So Uncle Eddie, do you have a hard time understanding computers?” Chances are, because he’s your Uncle and you know some things about him, you will be able to identify the weak point in his projection, like the fact that he hates computers.
Uncle Eddie: “Yeah, nephew. I’m totally illiterate when it comes to computers. My boss tells me I need to learn how to use them but I’m totally lost. If I lose my job then I won’t be able to pay my mortgage. Where will I live? I’m screwed!”
You: “That’s too bad, Uncle E. You are a strong guy, are you really going to let your fear of computers get in the way of your success? All you need is a little encouragement. Here, let me show you how to write an email…”
Voila! What would have triggered you before now brings the two of you together, and that togetherness is the true meaning of Christmas.
This holiday season, give the gift of seeing projections, calling them out, and transforming them into peace and joy!